White
by MischiefManagedKnox
Summary: 8 years after the Final Battle, everything seems to be right. Until pro pureblood laws are restored, and Hermione is attacked and gravely injured in a way most people would never survive. Will she make it? Or will she die like so many before her.
1. White

Death

A/N: I don't own anything. This is going to be a long, multi chaptered fic. I've always wanted to read something like this, but could never find anything like it, so I decided I'd write it myself. Enjoy! PLEASE read and review. This is my first fanfic.

HARRY'S POV:

I don't know what happened to our world. Everything was going so smoothly since the war ended. Ron and Hermione were married, Ginny and I were expecting a baby, pro-pureblood laws had ended. Or so everyone thought. The ministry began ordering attacks on random muggle borns, and by attacks, I mean they were trying to kill every last muggle born alive.

Kingsley was the minister during this time. He was someone we thought was our friend. Someone we trusted. Someone Hermione trusted.

Hermione had completely let her guard down thinking that since she was friends with Kingsley, she wasn't in any kind of danger. She was the best in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. We all thought that she was protected. That nobody would try to kill her. But we were wrong. We were all completely wrong.

I was just finishing up signing a few waivers for our next Auror mission. It was late, very late, and I just assumed Hermione was still there. Well, she had to be because I was her ride home. I was still busy signing when she stopped in my doorway.

"Hi Harry." She said sweetly. I looked up to see that she was grinning ear to ear and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi Hermione." I said looking back down at my papers. Her face fell.

"How- how long do you think? Because I was hoping we could run by Diagon Alley? It's mine and Ron's 2nd anniversary, and I wanted to get him some chocolates or something." Hermione looked at me hoping for some kind of acknowledgement. But I was so worried about my damn papers, that I couldn't give her the decency of just looking up at her and nodding. Something I definitely regret right now. "Harry?" She asked again. This time I looked at her.

I sighed. "Look, just go wait in the car. I'll be out in a second." I heard her sigh and mutter something that sounded like "fine" and walk down the hall.

HERMIONE'S POV:

_God, what's got his wand in a knot?_ I thought as I made my way out to the parking lot. I got to the car only to realize the Harry hadn't given me the keys. Turning around, I ran straight into a man.

"Sorry, sir. I was just-"

"Just leaving? No. You're not going anywhere." The man said in a slightly threatening tone. My heart started to pound.

"Please, sir, can I just-"

"Let me see your arm." Oh no. My arm. The arm that Bellatrix had written that disgusting name on. That disgusting mark that I have to live with for as long as I live. "Let me see your fucking arm!" He grabbed for my arm and I pulled it away only for him to grab it again, and look at my scar, angry red against my porcelain skin. He looked back at me and smiled. I tried to scream for Harry, but he clasped his hand over my mouth and pulled out a gun.

I tried to scream louder, but he pressed the gun against my lower back.

"This is what you deserve. This is what all disgusting mudbloods like you deserve." The minute he ended his sentence, he pulled the trigger. White hot pain erupted through my entire body as the bullet passed through my skin and into my spine. I could feel my blood beginning to seep through my clothing. He let me drop to the floor onto my back and aimed the gun at my chest. My vision started fading from the blood loss and I started to feel weaker. My entire body became numb. So numb to the point where I couldn't even feel the second bullet pierce my heart.

I could faintly hear Harry screaming in what seemed like somewhere far away. I looked back up to see the man pointing his gun at my temple, and then everything was white.


	2. Loud Sirens and Quiet Tears

Loud Sirens and Quiet Tears

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! Here's chapter 2 Just for your information, in this world, St. Mungos would refuse to help any muggle born, no matter how life threatening the injuries were. That's why Harry doesn't take Hermione there. Just saying! Enjoy!

HARRY'S POV:

I've seen so many things in my life that were absolutely emotionally draining. But seeing my best friend, my sister lying in a pool of her own blood dying was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my 25 years.

The minute the shooter saw me, he ran away like a bloody coward, leaving his victim to die. With tears streaming down my face, I ran as fast as I could to Hermione's side. I knelt down and scooped her lifeless form into my arms. I held her and cried hopeless apologies into her hair, praying to God that she would be okay. It was at that second that my mobile fell out of my pocket.

With shaking, blood covered hands, I put Hermione down and dialed 999. I held the phone in my right hand, and felt for Hermione's pulse with my left. There was nothing.

"999, what is your emergency?" A dispatcher asked in a calm voice.

"PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! MY SISTER, SHE'S BEEN SHOT THREE TIMES, AND I CANT FIND A PULSE!" I shouted. I had actually attempted to sound calm, but just couldn't. Would you be able to keep yourself calm if your sister had been shot?

"We've just dispatched an ambulance and their heading your way." (A/N: The dispatcher knows where Harry is because his cell phone gave away his location) My heart felt like a weight was just lifted off of it.

"Thank you so much!" I hung up, put my phone down and scooped Hermione back up into my arms.

"Hermione, It's okay. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be alright. I promise. But you've gotta breathe. You've got to breathe for me okay?" I whispered to her still, lifeless form. She was so cold. I watched her chest, praying to see her take a breath… but nothing came. Her chest wasn't moving. Hermione was dead.

In the time it took for this realization to sink in, the ambulance pulled up to the curb. Two men quickly brought out a stretcher, took Hermione from me and laid her down gently on it. They rolled her into the back of the ambulance, and I followed. I was numb. There was just no way these muggles could save her now. She was shot in three absolutely vital parts of her body. Her heart, brain, and spine.

With tears still spilling out of my eyes, I sat down next to Hermione's stretcher and watched as a paramedic hooked her up to some random tubes. They shut the doors of the ambulance and we started to drive off.

The paramedic taking care of Hermione picked up two defibrillator paddles and began to charge them. I watched in absolute horror as he placed them on her chest and yelled "CLEAR!"

"Are you family?" The paramedic that wasn't looking after Hermione asked me, just seconds before the other paramedic shocked Hermione's chest. I looked up at him not knowing what to say.

I guess I was still in shock, because all that came out was, "Imerbrotherinlaw." He knelt down and took my hand in his.

With a reassuring smile he said, "We're going to take care of her. She's going to be okay." I forced a small smile back, but was immediately distracted by another shout of "CLEAR!" followed by a loud shocking noise.

What I heard next absolutely amazed me. A small beeping noise rippled through the ambulance.

"WE'VE GOT A PULSE!" screamed the paramedic taking care of Hermione. My heart gave a lurch as I was swarmed with a feeling of over-whelming happiness. Hermione was alive.

It was at that moment that my mobile rang. _Seriously? Who the hell could possibly be calling me right now?_ I picked it up to see that it was none other than Hermione's husband, Ron.

"RON!" I screamed into the phone.

"Harry? Is everything okay? Hermione told me that she would be home an hour ago, and she's not here. Any idea where she's run off to?" Ron asked in an eerily calm voice. My heart immediately dropped to my stomach as I looked at my blood soaked shirt and hands.

"Ron, Hermione- she-" I didn't know how I would tell him. I heard him gasp on the other end.

"Was she attacked?" He asked in a worried tone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Ron was devoted to Hermione. He loved her more than anything in this world. And to tell him that the person he loves most in this world, the person he wanted to grow old with had been brutally attacked and left for dead would be sickening.

I was silent.

"God DAMMIT, Harry is she okay?" I was silent again. "ANSWER ME!" He screamed into the phone.

"Ron, she was shot in the parking lot. She was shot in the back, head and heart. When I got to her she was gone." I started to cry again. I could hear him crying too.

"Harry. Please tell me she's alive." Ron said, sounding as if he was about to be sick as well.

"They've found a pulse. I don't know anything else. Just gather the family and meet me at St. Mackenzie Emergency Center." I said as calmly as I could.

"Oh thank God. K-keep me updated until I get there." He immediately hung up the phone. We began to pull up to the hospital, and the paramedics wheeled Hermione into the white hallways of the hospital. Her blood soaking the paper white sheets that covered her body.

**Well? What do you think? Will Hermione be able to pull through? Next chapter's in Ron's point of view. He's going to LOSE IT. Thank you for reading! Please review! **


	3. A Fighting Spirit

A Fighting Spirit

**A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing! Like I said in the last chapter, Ron's going to freak. Not entirely sure if I'll let Hermione live or not. We'll just have to see ;)**

RON'S POV:

I burst through the glass doors of the hospital with all the strength I had and ran right up to the woman sitting behind a tall desk. I think she was some kind of healer, I'm not entirely sure.

Without meaning to, I screamed at her, "WHERE IS MY WIFE?" She paused for a moment and looked up at me with almost no enthusiasm. I swear I was about to slap her. How dare she act like this? She could've at least acted the slightest bit concerned.

Clearing her throat, she put on her glasses and said, "Name?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "Her-Hermione Weasley," She looked through her papers with no rush at all. "She's a gunshot victim." I said offering some kind of help. She pointed to a pair of large double doors.

Muttering a quick thank you, I darted through those double doors only to be greeted by my sobbing mother. She wrapped me into one of her bone crushing hugs and began to sob into my chest. I held her for a while, but when I looked over her head, I could see a sobbing, blood soaked Harry Potter. That was when my heart sank. That's when I realized that this was all real. That my sweet, beautiful Hermione was so close to death, and could have very well be dying at that moment without me by her side.

Harry looked up at me with eyes glistening with tears, his shirt soaked through with Hermione's blood. He rose from his chair and embraced me. That's when it all came crashing down. My reason for living, my reason to come home happy everyday, the reason my heart still beats was struggling to survive beyond those white double doors.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a man's voice behind me. "Is the husband of Hermione Weasley here?" My heart gave a leap. I ran to him.

"I'm her husband! Me! Right here! Her husband! Me!" I babbled, my excitement becoming overwhelming. When he looked at me my heart dropped to its home at the pit of my stomach.

"She's alive. But only just. We had to perform intensive surgeries on her, and we lost her four times." My heart stopped. Four times? Including when she was first attacked, that's five times. His voice brought me back out of my thoughts. "She has several life threatening injuries. Let's start with her spine. The bullet completely severed the lower half of her spinal chord. The spinal chord controls whether we're able to walk or not. I've managed to repair it only slightly. I've re-attached the ends together. The way it looks right now, she will never walk again. I'm so sorry." My heart broke at those words. I didn't even have time to think about this before he started talking again.

"Her heart was easy to repair. The bullet only passed through the surface level tissue of her heart. It didn't get any deeper than the surface, thank God. For extra precautions, we've hooked her heart up to a machine that will keep it beating." He waited a bit before continuing. "Her brain is a major problem though." My heart sunk. "The bullet passed through the part of her brain that controls her ability to hear, and hit the part of her brain that determines whether she can read and write. The bullet was buried deep within that portion of her brain, which means she probably will have to re-learn how to read."

Oh no. Not reading. Hermione was known for her brain, for her amazingly brilliant mind. And for her to just suddenly lose all of it would be absolutely tragic.

"We've put her in intensive care. You're allowed to see her. But I must warn you, it may be a bit of a shock. She still can't breathe on her own, so we have a machine breathing for her."

"Where is she?" I asked, ignoring everything he had just said. My voice cracked without me meaning to. This was a lot to take in. I would've appreciated it if he had been a bit gentler with the way he told me.

"Room 219." And with that he left me. I motioned for Harry and my mum to follow me. I was numb. I couldn't believe that this could happen to such a good person, someone who didn't deserve any kind of pain or suffering. Hermione didn't deserve this.

I stopped in front of Room 219 and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to see. I opened the door and walked slowly into the small white room. I immediately looked to the bed and gasped in horror.

Lying helpless and still, buried in blue blankets was my beautiful wife. My jaw dropped as I looked over her. There were so many tubes. So many noises. There was one tube that went down her throat and I could tell that it was controlling her breathing. Her chest was moving steadily up and down, and the machine that was controlling her breathing made a slight wheezing sound with every breath she took.

It was too much. I wanted to throw up. I went into a fit of rage immediately, knocking over chairs and tables, yelling unintelligible things.

"RON! STOP!" Mum screamed at me. "HERMIONE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO ACT LIKE THIS!"

I turned to her, glaring daggers at her. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" Tears were streaming down both of our faces. I couldn't believe the next thing that came out of my mouth. "I'D RATHER HER BE DEAD RIGHT NOW!"

My mother and Harry looked at me, absolutely shocked at what I had just said. The only noise in the room was the beeping noise of the machine connected to Hermione's heart.

"I- I didn't mean that." I stuttered. My mother turned out of the room and left. I turned to Harry. "Harry, I-"

"Ron, just shut up." He said quietly, shaking his head as he pushed past me and sat down by Hermione's bed and took her hand. "You know she probably heard that." I felt so guilty. "I would NEVER say that about Ginny. You should be so proud of Hermione." I sat down by her bed and took her hand, tears threatening to fall.

"I am proud of her. So proud." I said in a quiet voice. The voice a child would have after being scolded by his mother.

"Well apparently not. You just said it. You'd rather have her just give up and die than fight."

"Harry, I did not say that." I said in a voice so low that even I could barely hear it. This was pushing it. I was getting angry at him.

"You implied it, and that's good enough. Good enough for Hermione to hear you and give up. Do you know how much she's fighting to stay alive right now? Do you know how hard it is to come back from such a peaceful place to a world of pain? I've been there. Trust me, I think she'd much rather be up there than back here, but she's fighting to come back to us. To come back to you."

I shook my head as I let the tears loose. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I stroked Hermione's hair and spoke directly to her.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I am so proud of you. Please don't give up. If there were any way I could take the pain away-" It was at that moment that something happened that I will never forget.

"Ron, did you feel that?" Harry asked. I nodded quickly. Hermione gave a loud moan arched her back ever so slightly.

**Wow. How's that for a cliffy? **


	4. A Mother's Love

A Mother's Love

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reviewing! And thanks especially to rhmac12! You're helping me out a lot with this story by sharing your thoughts, and I just wanted to say thank you! Thank you to all my reviewers! I don't know if I'll let Hermione wake up in this chapter. I think its too soon, but as I write this chapter I'll probably come up with something. Thanks again! Here's chapter 4! It'll be in Ron's point of view again. I'll mix it up as the story goes on.**

RON'S POV:

Hermione moaned loudly and arched her back ever so slightly. I clutched her hand tighter and stroked her hair. I was so entranced by her sudden movement that I didn't notice Harry get up to leave. He placed a gentle kiss on Hermione's forehead, gave me a pat on the back and left the room.

My heart gave a leap when I heard Hermione mumbling in her sleep. "Hermione? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" I asked her in a voice so quiet that only she could possibly hear me. She gave a small whimper.

"It's okay, baby. I've got you, Ron's here." She took a few shallow breaths and I could hear the beeping of her heart start to slow down. _Oh no._ "Hermione, please. You're going to be alright. C'mon, you can get through this. I believe in you."

That's when I heard the worst noise I've ever heard. A shrill, flat _beeeeeeeeep_ circulated through the room. The healers immediately rushed into the room and pushed me out.

"NO! PLEASE! THAT'S MY WIFE!" I screamed at them. I fought the healers into the room. "HERMIONE! HERMIONE!" I fought to get to her side. "PLEASE! SHE NEEDS ME! SHE NEEDS ME!" I was finally pushed out of the room by one of the healers. I still fought as hard as I could. I needed to know that she was okay.

"Ron, you cannot be in here, we are trying to revive her." The healer that managed to get me out of the room said. Her voice was so familiar. Where had I heard it before? I've definitely heard it before.

"How- how do you know my name?" I asked calming down a bit.

She gave me a questioning look, then pulled down her mask to reveal her face.

I backed away. I started to freak out a bit. "No. No! Not you! I don't trust you! Not with her life." This wasn't just someone I'd met before. This was the girl I dated in 6th year. The one I dated to make Hermione jealous. Lavender Brown was the healer in charge of my wife.

"Ron listen to me-" I cut her off.

"No. You don't understand. I can't trust you." I told her.

"Ron, that was nine years ago. I've moved past it." She said touching my arm. I shook my head.

"No-"

"Ron! I'm not going to hurt Hermione. I never wanted to hurt Hermione, not even in 6th year!" She took both of my hands in hers. "You can trust me. I'm going to take care of her."

Before I could answer her all of the healers walked calmly out of Hermione's room. Lavender took me into the room and gestured to Hermione's still form. She was alive.

"You see? She's alive. Under my directions, they were able to bring her back." I ran to Hermione's side immediately and took her hand.

I turned my head to thank Lavender, but she was gone. Shrugging it off, I looked back at Hermione. I stroked her cheek and muttered encouraging words.

"Don't scare me like that." I said with a smile. There was a moment when I just stared at her perfect face. I wanted to remember every inch of her face. Every tiny freckle, every curve and point, everything.

"God, you're beautiful." I whispered, my heart aching. She shifted slightly in her bed and took a deep breath. I took that as a sign that she heard me. For what felt like hours, I just sat there twirling her hair in my fingers and whispering loving words into her ear. In that moment in time, there was no pain. There was no sadness, or worries. It was just me and Hermione in our own little world. I no longer felt like I was about to break. I didn't feel like there was anything wrong. At that moment, everything was right in the world. We were at peace.

I was so lost in mine and Hermione's world that I hadn't noticed my mother enter the room. I smiled at her, still in a dreamlike state as she sat down on the other side of Hermione's bed. "Fred, George and Dad are all in the lobby. They want to be updated." (**A/N: Oh by the way, Fred's alive)** She said sweetly. She squeezed my hand with a small smile. I looked at Hermione uncertain as to whether I should leave her. That's when I woke up.

"She'll be okay, Ronald." I shook my head and put my head in my hands. She frowned. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath, lifting my head to look her in the eye. "I lost her again not 45 minutes ago," She looked at me with a concerned face. "That's 6 times in one night." I could feel the tears coming back. "God, that's just too much." The tears were flowing freely now. "I've never known anyone to die 6 times." I let out a shaky sigh and for a moment, there was just silence. "I'm just afraid that-" I let out a breath. "That it'll happen one more time-" I let out a loud sob. "And…and that'll be enough to-to.."

"Oh, sweetie." She reached out and rubbed my arm, sending an overwhelming amount of warmth throughout my body.

"I'm just so scared, mum. I-" I was cut off by her walking to my side of the bed and wrapping her arms around me.

"Shhh. Shh. It's gonna be okay, sweetheart, you'll see. You'll see!" Mum whispered into my ear. I felt like a child again as she rocked me back and forth as I cried. She kissed the top of my head. "She is so strong. She's going to wake up, and she's going to be alright."

I shook my head again and sniffled. "Healer says- says that she'll n-n-never be able t-to walk again." I managed to choke out through my sobs. "I just love her so much. The last thing I want is for her to be in pain, or live with any kind of disability."

She rubbed soothing circles on my back. "You just wait. She's going to wake up, and she's going to be alright. You'll see." I took a deep breath and immediately felt a bit better. For the longest time mum just held me. We just stared at Hermione's lifeless form and cried together.

"Mum, I- I didn't mean it. What I said earlier." I said sitting up and wiping the tears from my eyes. She gave a small smile.

"Oh sweetheart, I know you didn't." I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. "And she knows as well." With that, she kissed me on the cheek, leaned over and kissed Hermione's cheek tenderly then left with a smile.

I smiled at Hermione and took her hand. At that moment, I just knew that she was going to be alright. It would be a long and bumpy road to recovery, but I had faith in her. Hermione was going to be okay.

**Sometimes all you need is a mother's love. **


	5. An Ultimatum

An Ultimatum

**Hi you guys!:) Thanks again for reviewing! This chapter's going to be interesting, and a bit sad. BUT I can promise you this….She's not going to flat line anymore yay! But you're going to get a look at something that happened just weeks before this incident. It's something nobody would expect. enjoy!**

RON'S POV:

It had been a week. A week had gone by since the attack and Hermione still hadn't made any progress. It's funny. I don't remember time going by. I don't remember looking at a clock, or the calendar. I just didn't care. The only thing I cared about was lying down right in front of me still fighting to live. It must be a lot of work, fighting to come back. I just thought that if you were walking into the light, you'd just turn around and come back, but maybe it's more complicated than that. What if her spirit's lost? What if she can't find her way back?

What if she's scared and I'm not there to comfort her?

These thoughts passed through my mind so much that it became their permanent home. Sitting in the chair that had become my temporary home, I began to look back at all the memories we had together.

_**Just one week before Hermione was shot.**__ I was up in our bedroom half asleep when I noticed that Hermione hadn't come to bed. I groggily got out of bed and proceeded to walk down the stairs. As I got closer to the ground level, I could hear the beautiful sound of piano music swiftly floating through the air. I came down to the ground level to see Hermione sitting at the grand piano I had gotten her last year, her hair in a messy bun, wearing my old Cannons sweatshirt and some black sweatpants. Hermione was an extremely talented song writer. Not like a lyric writer, like a piano music writer. This was a new song though. It was beautiful._

_ I walked quietly over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. She jumped and looked up at me. I noticed there were tears glistening in her eyes. My heart immediately broke._

_ "What's the matter, sweetheart?" I asked rubbing soothing circles on her back. She glared at me like I was supposed to know what was wrong with her. _

_ She wiped her eyes. "Are you kidding me?" she said, trying to sound fierce, but all that came out was a choked sob. _

_ Realization washed over me and I immediately felt like an idiot for not remembering. Her brother, Zack, someone she absolutely idolized, someone she loved so much, had killed himself not 2 weeks ago. _

_ It wasn't like we just came home and found him. He had left a note saying that he "was done with this life." That it was somehow Hermione's fault that he was about to do this. He was going to jump off the London Bridge. _

_ Hermione grabbed my hand and we apparated to the bridge. _

_ When we got there, there were so many cops surrounding the bridge. Hermione ran ahead of me pushing through the crowd of police. They tried to push her away but she resisted._

_ "Please, that's my brother! You don't understand! I can talk him out of this!" She begged, but the police still wouldn't let her through. I don't think I'd ever seen her so scared._

_ She eventually pushed her way through the crowd of police. Zack was standing on the ledge of the bridge, his eyes closed and his arms outstretched. _

_ "ZACK!" Hermione screamed. Zack looked at her with sad eyes. _

_ "Hermione, get out of here. There's nothing you can do. My mind's made up."_

_ Hermione shook her head, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "Zack, please. Think of me. Think of how guilty I'd feel if you jumped. Do you want to put me through that kind of pain?" Zack shook his head, picked up his left foot off the bridge and let his shoe fall to the water. _

_ "God DAMMIT, Zack get down from there!" Hermione begged, watching his every move. She was sobbing now. I could tell Zack was starting to get angry._

_ "Come out onto the ledge." He said in a nonchalant voice. He spoke if they were just talking about the weather. Hermione looked bewildered and shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "COME OUT ONTO THE LEDGE, OR I'LL JUMP NOW!" _

_ Hermione stared at him with every move as she climbed up onto the edge. "Okay. Okay, I'm on the ledge. I did what you wanted now, please don't jump." She said in such a calm voice that it shocked me._

_ He shook his head, sending Hermione into a panic._

_ "ZACK PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!" She screamed at him. He closed his eyes…_

_ "I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!" He ignored her pleas and outstretched one of his feet. _

_ "THINK ABOUT ME! THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS WILL DO TO ME! THE GUILT WOULD KILL ME!" Zack let go of the bars he was holding on to and bent his knees…_

_ "ZACK-NO-ZAAAACK!" She screamed as loud as she could. With that, he jumped off the London Bridge. "NO! ZACK! JESUS CHRIST!"_

"Mr. Weasley? Mr. Weasley!" Someone was shaking my shoulders, bringing me out of my reverie. I looked up to see Hermione's healer with a grim look on his face. "Can we talk out in the hallway?" I nodded and got up.

When we got out in the hallway, I got this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong. The healer looked at me solemnly. My heart began to pound against my ribs.

"Mr. Weasley, your wife has made no progress at all in the last week." I listened harder than I'd ever listened before, clinging onto every word. He gave a deep sigh.

"I'm afraid…" He paused. I couldn't take it. The suspense alone was about to kill me. "That if she doesn't wake up within the next two days, we're going to have to let her go." I didn't understand. I was in denial. What was "let her go" supposed to mean?

"L-let her go?" I asked, afraid of what he meant by that.

"We're going to have to pull the plug. Take her off the machines and let her die peacefully." I shook my head in absolute horror at what he had just said to me.

"No. I can't let you do that." The tears started to fall from my eyes. "How dare you?" I asked in absolute seriousness.

"I beg your pardon?"

"After how hard she's been fighting, you're just going to put her down like some animal?" He looked at me, shocked at my reaction. "That's disgusting." I pushed past him and sat down by Hermione's bed, intertwining my fingers with hers.

I heard her give a small moan. I stroked her cheek whispering, "It's okay, Mione." That very second, I swore I saw her eyelids flutter.

"Hermione?" She gave another groan. "Can you- can you hear me?" She took a deep breath followed by three short breaths.

She shifted her body slightly.

Took another deep breath.

And opened her eyes.

**Yay! She's awake! I'm not exactly sure why I included her brother's death. That idea's been bouncing around in my head for the longest time, and I figured I'd use it as one of Ron's memories. Please review!**


	6. Empty Words and Unnecessary Apologies

Untitled

**Yay she's awake! Thank you all so much for reviewing, it really means a lot to me! I aspire to make a living out of writing in the future, so all your comments are really taken to heart Ron's POV again PROMISE it'll mix up later! Love you guys!**

RON'S POV:

Am I dreaming? Is this some cruel joke my mind's playing on me? These thoughts raced through my mind as I was overcome by a wave of emotions. Hermione had just opened her eyes.

I wanted to say so much to her in that small moment of time. I wanted to tell her how much I love her. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her.

All that really came out was, "Ohmygodyou'reawake!" I don't think I've ever been so relieved in my entire life. "Hi there, beautiful." I said softly as I stroked her cheek. She tensed up at the contact, as if she didn't know I was there before.

Fear struck my entire being as I realized that she might not be able to hear me. _"The bullet passed through the part of her brain that controls her ability to hear." _I heard her healer say in my mind.

Hermione turned her head slightly to look at me. I was so afraid that she wouldn't recognize me, or that she couldn't hear me, that I barely noticed her attempting to smile at me. All of the fear, all of the sadness, the anger, everything was lifted from my heart with that one smile. That smile told me that everything was going to be alright.

"Hermione, sweetheart can you hear me? Are you in any pain?" I asked in a gentle voice, tucking a stray curly hair behind her ear. My heart broke as she continued to just stare at me. I was becoming worried. Struggling to keep my voice steady, I asked her again.

"Can you hear me, sweet girl?" She furrowed her brow in concentration, trying to decipher what I had just said. Her eyes widened and filled with tears. My heart broke a little more as she looked at me with fear in her eyes. She couldn't hear me.

I was in shock. I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to suddenly not be able to hear, or see or anything like that. An overwhelming wave of pain washed over me as I remembered the healer also telling me that Hermione would never walk again.

I buried my face in my hands as all of this came crashing down on me. I immediately felt selfish. I couldn't imagine what Hermione was feeling at that moment. I took a deep breath and took her small hand in mine.

"It's going to be okay, Hermione," I wiped a few stray tears from her face. "You're going to be alright." I gave a weak smile. I knew that she couldn't hear my comforting words, but I just needed to let them out, not only to reassure Hermione, but to reassure myself that everything was going to be fine.

Lavender walked in quietly and looked at Hermione. She frowned as she noticed we were both crying. "You're awake!" She said in a cheerful voice. It was as if she were trying to cheer us up. "Why the long faces?" She asked sweetly.

I looked to Hermione, then to Lavender. "She-" I swallowed roughly. "She can't hear me, Lavender."

Lavender smiled at me and I immediately felt absolutely foolish for trusting her. For giving her a second chance. How dare she smile at me like that? How dare she smile at the fact that my wife had gone deaf?

"I was actually going to talk to you about that." My heart broke even more at those words. "Don't worry, Ron it's a good thing."

"What?" I asked quietly. I looked to Hermione. She must've been so confused at this conversation, but relief washed over me as I looked to see her looking out the window by her bed with a small smile on her face.

"In her first brain surgery we were able to repair her left eardrum." I looked at her, clinging to the small tone of hope in her voice.

"She will be able to hear out of that ear, but only with a surgically implanted hearing aid-"

I interrupted her. "No. No more surgeries. I just got her back, Lavender I'm not going to risk losing her again. I love her so much."

She chuckled. "Ron, we've already implanted the hearing aid in her ear." She walked over to Hermione who smiled at her. She put her hands on Hermione's head and began to turn it. I winced, afraid that the slightest forced movement on Hermione's head would cause her pain. Much to my relief, Hermione didn't have any reaction to it.

Lavender pointed to Hermione's ear. Sure enough, there was a small skin coloured circle with little holes in it. There were little pink scars surrounding it and I immediately had a thought. Hermione's going to be self-conscious about this.

Hermione is so insecure about having scars, or being different from everyone else. When she was being fitted for her wedding dress it took me so long to convince her that she didn't need a long sleeved dress to be beautiful. She was so afraid of being judged by the family that already loved her so much, and it sickened me.

"Do you see it?" I nodded quickly. Why couldn't she hear me before, though?

"If she already had the hearing aid, why couldn't she hear me before?" She smiled and put on one of those white doctor gloves. The ones I'd been making balloons out of for the past week. She put her hand in Hermione's ear.

"You just need to flip it on." A tiny clicking noise filled the air of the tiny room.

Hermione immediately put a hand to her ear and winced. Oh no. She's in pain.

"Hermione it's okay, sweetheart. You're okay." I said softly as I stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head, furrowing her brow. She put both hands on her head and grimaced giving a small moan. I backed away, afraid that I had somehow hurt her. Tears stung my eyes. I felt as if I had done this. As if I was the one that shot her.

Lavender tried to calm her down as well. "Hermione, listen to me. You're safe. You've been injured, but we're all taking care of you. You're going to be just fine." Hermione kept her hands on her head and moaned louder, tears escaping her eyes.

I shook my head, the tears now finding their former home streaming down my face, and got up from my chair. I walked calmly out the door. My original intention was to just go for a walk, but as another moan escaped the room behind me, I stopped. I turned and walked to the wall next to the door, not entering the room.

I could've sworn that was a word. I could've sworn Hermione had said something. I listened closely as Hermione mumbled some more, then something I couldn't believe escaped her lips. I could barely understand it because it was so quiet and so strung together, but I definitely heard it.

"Ronimsorry."


	7. That Really Bright Place

That Really Bright Place

**Hi!:) Well I'm mixing it up a little, and making this one Harry's POV. Thanks again for reviewing!**

HARRY'S POV:

"That'll be $4.50." (**A/N: I'm American, so I have no clue how to make the euros sign. Sorry)** With a quick thank you, I bought the beautiful bouquet of orange lilies (Hermione's favourite) and headed up to her room. I wasn't planning to stay long, I was just dropping off the flowers and then I'd be on my way to work.

My heart dropped dramatically as I rounded the corner to Hermione's hallway and saw a sobbing Ron sunk to the floor with his head in his hands. My walk broke into a run immediately.

"Ron?" I knelt down the second I got to him. I feared the worst. "Is she-" I refused to let the words escape my lips. I was swarmed with the warmth of relief as he shook his head. He took a deep breath and sniffled.

"She's just in so much pain, Harry." He wiped away his tears and looked up at me. There was a brief moment between us where it was just silence. Ron decided to break the silence. "She was talking." My head snapped up. There was no way Hermione was talking. It's too soon.

"Then why are you so upset? This is great news!" I smiled.

He shook his head. "She said something that broke my heart." He let a few more tears fall. My face fell into a look of concern. "She said she was sorry."

"Oh, Ron-"

"It's not the fact that she said she was sorry, it's what she meant by it." He said in a voice so solemn that it scared me.

"What'd she mean by it?" He looked up at me with tears glistening in his crystal blue eyes.

"I just think she's apologizing for being in pain." He sighed deeply. "I just hate it so much that she feels like she has to apologize. Especially for something like that." He shook his head and immediately gestured to the vase in my hand trying to change the subject.

"Are those for her?" I laughed.

"No, they're for Lavender. Of course they're for her!" He laughed halfheartedly at my sarcasm. The first time I'd heard him laugh in a long time. I looked in Hermione's room to see her watching the small television above her bed. "I think I'll go say hi to her. Why don't you go get something to eat? You haven't eaten in a while." He nodded. I patted his back and walked into Hermione's room.

She immediately turned her head towards me and offered a small smile. In a hoarse voice that shattered my heart, she asked me, "Are those for me?"

"Of course they are." I smiled. I set the flowers down on the nightstand beside her bed and sat down in my chair next to her. I took her small hand gingerly and smiled at her.

"How are you feeling?" She shook her head and sighed.

"I'll tell you if you promise not to tell Ron. I don't want him to worry." I snorted.

"He's your husband, Hermione. Of course he's going to worry. He's making himself sick out there." She blinked rapidly, struggling to keep the tears inside. "Hey." I patted her hand lightly. "Don't be afraid to cry. You have every right to cry."

With that, she let the tears fall. What started as a gentle stream of tears soon turned to a violent waterfall of emotion. In that moment, time seemed to stop. I felt so useless as I rubbed soothing circles on her back. I wanted to wrap her in a hug only a brother could give and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but couldn't. She started to calm down a bit and relaxed. Silence filled the air as she just stared at me looking as if she were coming up with something to say to me. She finally looked up to the ceiling and I figured she was about to fall asleep. I was surprised when she spoke again.

"There were so many people." She said quietly, her eyes still fixed on the ceiling. I was taken aback by this. What did she mean by that? I had an idea of what she meant, but I wasn't too sure.

"There were so many people where, Hermione?" She finally looked at me and smiled.

"That really bright place. I went there when I saw you running toward me." I didn't know how to react to this. This was an entirely new experience for me. She swallowed and continued.

"There were all these people in this one little room, all of them I knew. Tonks was the first person I saw. She was really happy I was there for some reason. I guess I was still in shock, because I didn't immediately realize I was dead. She kept saying things like, 'It takes your brain about 5 minutes to die after your body,' and '4 and a half minutes to go!'" She started to tear up a bit at this statement.

"I wanted to stay there. There was no pain or suffering, I wasn't being excluded for being a muggle born, I was just….at peace." I started to tear up at her words. I had been there before. I had an idea of what she was feeling. She swallowed and continued.

"Tonks kept counting down, and I was getting a bit scared. I realized that you, Ron, Molly, everyone weren't going to be there with me." She sniffled. "That's when I remembered my brother. I figured that if I was going to die, at least he would be there with me." She arched her back and hid her face behind her hands. She started shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. I reached my hand out to touch her shoulder. I hated seeing her like this. Hermione was the strongest woman I'd ever met, and to see her break down like this was so painful. I swallowed and worked up the courage to ask her the question that had been lingering on my mind.

"Did you find him?" She tried to regain her composure and removed her hands from her face. She looked at me with the saddest face I've ever seen. A face of complete and utter pain. She took a deep and shaky breath, then closed her eyes.

"He wasn't there." She swallowed roughly, squeezed her eyes shut tighter and let out a small whisper that sounded like _Oh God. _I touched her shoulder and nodded encouragingly.

"I asked Tonks if she'd seen him and she said that he never showed up." She began to calm down. "That's when I suddenly felt myself falling. I fell through the white floor, through a bunch of clouds, through the ceiling of some kind of ambulance. That's when my heart started beating again." She smiled slightly.

Ron walked in as if on cue. He smiled his lopsided grin at me and I took it as a sign to leave. He needed to know what she had been through, and I didn't want to somehow cause any distraction. Plus, I was hungry as hell.

I got up, placed a gentle kiss on Hermione's forehead and walked out of the room. Before leaving, I looked in the room one more time to see them quietly talking as if they were having their first date. In that moment, it was like the entire world breathed a much needed sigh of relief.

**So there's your look into what happened while Hermione was dead. Thanks very much for reading! Next chapters going to be sad. Sorry **


	8. Unknown Agreements

Unknown Agreements

**So this is going to be a crazy one. It has a lot of cursing in it, so kiddies stay away **

RON'S POV:

I woke up around 7 in the morning in my usual spot next to Hermione's bed. I looked over at her sleeping form. She was so beautiful when she slept. She was beautiful anyway, but when she slept, it was different. Her entire face was relaxed in sleep. She looked so peaceful, like none of this happened. As if it were all a dream.

But I knew she didn't feel peaceful. I knew she wasn't relaxed. I knew that this was all real. This wasn't a dream. Her eyes began to open slowly and she smiled at me groggily.

"Hey." She said sleepily. I kissed her forehead and smiled.

"Hey. Can I get you anything?" I asked in a gentle voice. She began to rub her arms subconsciously.

"Actually yes, could you get me a blanket? I'm freezing." I nodded.

"Why don't you close your eyes for a bit while I go get your blanket?" She nodded and slowly closed her eyes, lulling herself back to sleep. I walked out into the hallway only to run right into Lavender who was on her way in to check on Hermione.

I let her walk into Hermione's room as I passed her, but as I looked at Lavender, I noticed she had something hidden behind her back. I turned around, my brow furrowed. What was that? I walked back into Hermione's room and got a closer look at what Lavender had behind her back. It was some kind of shot.

"Lavender, what's that?" She jumped as if she hadn't noticed me come in. This was too suspicious. "What's that behind your back?" Hermione was waking up at this point. I heard her mumbling something that sounded like "Wuzgoingon?"

Lavender looked at me with a confused face. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I need to put her to sleep if we're going to amputate her leg." My heart dropped. I shook my head and pulled her into the hallway. Where did this come from?

"What do you mean you're going to amputate her leg? I NEVER AGREED TO THAT!" I was furious. I felt like killing her. Nobody ever told me anything about amputating Hermione's leg.

"Ron, we have no choice, her right leg looks relatively normal, but her left leg- I've never seen anything like it before, it's just….dying while it's still attached to her body. We need to have it amputated before it causes an infection that can spread through her body. Now this infection has the potential to take years to start harming her. We would've expected her to be in her late forties before she came in to get this done." She said all of this so eerily calm that I felt like I was in a movie. That this entire conversation was being read off a teleprompter.

I shook my head, still in denial. "No, I never agreed to this." She looked through the papers and pointed her finger to a signature.

"You didn't, but Harry did."

I snatched the paper out of her hand. I didn't want to believe it. My own best friend, Hermione's best friend, had signed away a part of her body. Did he realize that after everything she had already gone through, this added so much more pain and suffering? There would be so much pain. It was horrible enough that she would never walk again, but this- this was a completely different level. And the fact that her own best friend took it to that level was sickening.

I crumpled up the paper and threw it on the ground. My blood boiling with anger, I stomped through that hallway. I was going to murder Harry Potter. I stomped out into the waiting room to find that twisted fucker asleep in one of the armchairs.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him up out of his chair roughly. He immediately woke up and pushed my hands off of him. "What the hell?"

"Get. Outside. Now." I was huffing and puffing, smoke coming out of my ears. Too afraid to protest, Harry began to walk outside the hospital doors.

The minute we got outside, I lost it. He started to ask questions, "Ron what the hell is going on? What's got you all pi-" He didn't get to finish his sentence before I punched him square in the jaw. "RON WHAT THE FUCK!"

"WHY DID YOU SIGN THOSE PAPERS?" He looked at me, guilt written all over his face. "WHY?" He buried his face in his hands. "GIVE ME A FUCKING ANSWER!" When he didn't answer, I advanced toward him, ready to hit him again.

"I don't know! I don't know, Ron!" I shook my head.

"I DON'T KNOW? I DON'T KNOW? YOU SIGNED A PAPER THAT BASICALLY SAID 'GIVE HERMIONE MORE PAIN THAT SHE DOESN'T DESERVE.' YOU SIGNED A PAPER THAT PRACTICALLY SAID 'I WANT MY BEST FRIEND- MY SISTER IN MORE PAIN THAN SHE ALREADY IS!' YOU DISGUST ME!" I spat at his shoes and he backed away, tears streaming down his face. I felt a pang of guilt when he looked at me with such hurt. He ran towards me and pushed me down. That little pang of guilt was gone.

"DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS? DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE SIGNED THAT PAPER IF I KNEW WHAT IT WAS FOR?" He sunk to the ground next to me and began to cry. "I-I'm so so-sorry! I th- I thought it w-was an insu-insurance document! I didn't read it!" I shook my head. Harry was a terrible liar. He had his lying face, then he had his real face. He was wearing his lying face like the shirt he had on.

"I don't believe you." He took a deep breath. "Don't you dare lie to me about this."

He buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I knew what it was for. I knew that I was signing for her to have her leg cut off. I just thought that you had already agreed to it, so I signed it for you. Ron, I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." He paused for a moment. "I hope Hermione will forgive me."

I shook my head. "I've always admired Hermione how unbelievably caring she is. And how forgiving she is." He looked at me with hope in his eyes. "I think this changes things between you and her. I think it'll be a really long time before she forgives you for this, but let me tell you something, she'll never forget it. Hell, she's forgiven her parents for leaving her and Zack, but she never forgot. She remembers that day in detail, and she'll remember this the same way." Harry was crying softly.

It was probably 10 minutes we sat outside in silence, when I realized I'd never gotten Hermione her blanket. The poor thing was probably freezing to death.

Harry and I got up, gave each other a quick hug followed by a few quick sorrys, and walked back inside.

Harry went back to his chair that he had been sleeping in before, and I walked by the nurse to ask for a blanket. When I had gotten one, I walked down the hall to room 219 and closed my eyes, mentally preparing for what I was about to tell her.

When I opened the door to the small white room, I couldn't hear the soft beeping noise of the machines. I couldn't hear her small TV going. This wasn't normal. I opened my eyes and my heart dropped to my stomach.

Hermione was gone.


	9. Till Death Do Us Part

Till Death Do Us Part

**Hi you guys! I know the last chapter was confusing and I'm sorry about that. I wrote it at one in the morning, so I guess I wasn't thinking straight or something. Every writer can have an off day. This next chapter's going to make up for it though! I promise!**

RON'S POV:

Panic seared through my entire body as I stared helplessly at the empty bed before me. Where could she possibly have gone? She couldn't have just gotten up, she had to have been taken away. My heart pounded as the inevitable entered my mind. What if they lost her again and they took her away….for good.

I ran out into the hallway, scanning it for Lavender. My heart thudding, I looked in every room in an attempt to find her. The slightest wave of relief washed over me as I saw her walk out of some double doors with a surgical mask.

"Lavender!" Her eyes widened when she saw me. "Lavender, where's Hermione?" I asked as calmly as I could when I finally reached her.

When she didn't immediately answer, I asked her again, but this time in the tone only a protective husband would have. "Where. Is. My. Wife."

She took a deep breath. "Ron it was a scheduled surgery, and you never told us to cancel it, you just ran off to do God knows what. We had to wheel her off to surgery immediately." I lost a bit of my sanity at her words.

"Can I talk to her?" I asked quietly.

She looked at me as if I had just asked her what colour the grass was. "Ron, she-she's in surgery right now, but we're just finishing up the last of the stitches. It was a quick and easy procedure, so she wasn't in any pain."

I shook my head and brought my hands up to my head, tears threatening to fall. "Lavender, I never told Hermione that she would never walk again." She reached a comforting hand out but I backed away as if she had burned me. I gave a loud sniffle. "How do you think she's going to feel when she wakes up without a leg? She figured her spine wasn't hurt, that she was going to walk like normal. How's she going to react when she wakes up with one leg, and I tell her that she'll never walk again?" The tears were flowing freely now. My heart was broken. Broken is an understatement. My heart was severed. My heart ached painfully at the thought of Hermione waking up with one leg, not knowing that she would never walk again.

I walked away from Lavender, and walked to Hermione's nurse. "D'you think I could get a few blankets?" I asked sweetly. She smiled warmly and gave me 3 fluffy, blue blankets.

The only thing I could do was wait for Hermione to get back. It was absolute torture sitting there in silence. The suspense was killing me. How was she going to react? She was definitely going to be really upset and scared. But she was going to be so pissed at me that she wouldn't want my comfort.

After what felt like hours of thinking, Hermione was wheeled into the room by the friendly nurse who supplied the blankets. She looked to be half awake and extremely groggy. The nurse wheeled her over next to the bed and picked her up gently, as if she were a delicate piece of furniture. Time stopped as Hermione was picked up out of the stretcher.

I looked at where her left leg used to be. I had mentally prepared myself to see at least her knee left, but there was so much more missing. About 9 inches below her waist was where her leg ended. It was so surreal seeing her like this. I felt a few tears fall from my eyes. The nurse tucked Hermione in and put these little sensors on her chest. The beeping machine came back to life and the gentle beeps of Hermione's heart. I had to look away as the nurse shoved a needle in her arm. I think it was called an IV? I'm not sure. The nurse gave me a sympathetic look and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

I took Hermione's hand and she looked at me with her sad chocolate eyes. "This doesn't change anything." I put my lips to her hand in a gentle kiss. "You are so strong and so beautiful." She smiled a bit at my words. "I am so proud of you."

She shivered a bit as a breeze entered the room. I remembered the blankets now pooled at the foot of her bed. I gently threw them over her and watched her disappear under them. I heard her murmur something that sounded like "Thank you, Ronald."

"Of course, sweetheart." I offered her a small smile. I watched her close her eyes for a bit.

I thought she was asleep when she whispered something that tore my heart to shreds. "Don't leave me. Please." She opened her eyes and I noticed they were filled with tears.

"I could never leave you. Hermione I love you so much. This doesn't change anything, especially my feelings for you." She furrowed her brow in confusion and removed the blankets from her where her left leg used to be. The face that once held confusion was replaced by fear and hurt.

"Ron, what happened to my leg?" She asked, her voice cracking through unshed tears. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. This was too much. She asked again.

"Why is my leg gone?" I shook my head. "Why, Ron?"

I took a deep breath. "Hermione, I'm so sorry." She furrowed her brow once again in confusion. I took another deep breath before continuing. "The night that you were shot, the doctor told me that the bullet caused life changing injuries in your spine. Apparently your spine determines whether you'll be able to move or not." I paused trying to regain my composure. Hermione was crying softly now. "He said that you would never walk again." She put her hands up to face and shook her head, a small sob escaping her lips. "Your leg was carrying some kind of infection that would end up hurting you in the future." I was having an internal struggle with the decision to tell her that Harry had signed her leg away or not. I decided not to. "They had to cut it off immediately."

She was sobbing freely now. She sniffled and put a hand to her head, her eyes red and puffy with tears. "H-How could you not tell me all this?" She asked with a voice of complete heartbreak.

"I never found the right time." She shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"You had so much time to tell me. All of those times you and I were alone. Why didn't you tell me? I needed to know this!" I started to cry a little. I've never felt so guilty in my life.

"I didn't want to scare you. You've been through so much- I didn't want to make you more afraid than you already were."

"Well waking up without a leg and not knowing all of this is so much worse than if I had already known." She took a deep, shaky breath. "Ron, please don't leave me for this."

My heart shattered with those seven words. Seven words that held so much hurt, so much pain. "For better or worse." She looked up at me in surprise. I took her small hand in mine. "In sickness and in health. Till death do us part." I paused for a moment and looked into her chocolate brown eyes. "Those weren't just empty words, Hermione."

**Aww he's so sweet I want a Ron **


	10. Bright Lights

Bright Lights

**This one's going to be interesting. I'm so excited to write it. I'm mixing it up a little and making it Molly's POV. Enjoy!**

MOLLY'S POV:

I walked into Hermione's room, expecting to see her awake, especially at this hour. It was about noon when I walked in to find Ron holding her hand and staring at her sleeping form. When he turned around, I noticed how much weight he lost. He hadn't been eating much since that night. He hadn't left Hermione's side much since that night.

He smiled at me sleepily. "Hi mum." He yawned and stretched. I patted his back.

"Ron, sweetie why don't you and Harry go downstairs and get something to eat? You're much too thin." He sighed and looked at Hermione, still lost in her world of dreams.

"I'm still scared to leave her. What if something happens and she needs me? What if-" I cut him off.

"Relax, sweetheart. I'll stay here with her. I'll make sure nothing happens." He considered this for a few seconds, then slowly rose from his chair. He leaned over to Hermione and whispered quietly into her ear, "I'll be right back, sweetheart," and kissed her ear. She turned her head a bit at the contact.

I heard him leave as I took the chair opposite Ron's. Hermione quickly opened her eyes and began to breathe deeply, over and over again, as someone who had just had a nightmare would do.

"Hermione, dear are you alright?" She looked at me and nodded. She put a hand to her chest and furrowed her brow. "Are you sure?" She nodded again, her hand still on her chest.

"Just a bad dream." She said quietly. She didn't remove her hand from her chest like I thought she would. She began to take deep breaths, still keeping her hand on her chest. I stared at her in concern.

"Hermione, you need to tell me if you don't feel right. If you need me to, I can get a nurse." She shook her head.

"I'm fine, mum." Mum. She's called me mum since she was fourteen. It's funny, I had to ask Harry to call me mum, and he didn't feel comfortable doing that until he was married to Ginny. Hermione's parents abandoned her and her brother when they were very young. I guess I was a motherly figure to her very early on.

Hermione gave a small moan, and clutched her stomach. This wasn't normal. "Hermione, are you okay?" She furrowed her brow and nodded. Suddenly her expression softened dramatically and she smiled at me.

A small wave of relief rushed through me, but I was still slightly shaken. Hermione was acting very odd not ten seconds ago. When her expression softened, it was as if all of the pain had been lifted from her body.

She looked away from me and fixed her gaze on the ceiling, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. I watched her stare at the ceiling for a while, figuring she'd take her eyes off of it and look somewhere different. Concern flooded through me when she didn't. She stared at the ceiling as if she had never seen it before. I furrowed my brow and gently touched her hand.

"Hermione?" She didn't take her eyes off the ceiling. "Hermione?" She still didn't move her eyes from the ceiling. "Hermione, look at me, sweetheart." She finally pulled her eyes away from the ceiling, but kept darting her eyes back and forth from me, back up to the ceiling. I looked up to the ceiling. I didn't see anything. It was just a boring, beige wall fixed above us. I looked back to her to find her staring at it again….but she was smiling.

"Hermione? Sweetheart, what do you see?" She pointed her finger toward the ceiling, keeping her gaze fixed on it.

"Look at that bright light." She said quietly. I looked up…there was nothing there. "Do you see it?" She looked at me, her eyes twinkling as if with joy.

Tears stung my eyes. With fear written in my voice, I told her.

"Hermione, I don't see anything." She ignored my statement and began to speak quietly. Her voice was quieter than before. It was as if her voice was getting quieter and quieter with every word she spoke.

"I feel….so peaceful right now." Tears were glistening in her chocolate brown eyes. My heart began to speed up a bit.

"Hermione?" She ignored me and continued to speak.

"It's like-like I'm….I'm…I don't know, I can't explain it. I just want to touch it. To be submersed in it." She spoke as if in a trance. She was in a trance. Fear began to creep back into my heart. I had an idea of what she was seeing. I just didn't want to believe it.

I squeezed her hand gently…It was getting cold. I began to panic. "Hermione." She didn't look at me. "Hermione look at me." She ignored me. "Hermione, you have to snap out of it." I shook her shoulders, but she didn't even react.

My worst fear was realized as a sharp _beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_ filled the air.

Hermione Weasley stopped breathing.


	11. Unwanted

Unwanted

**Short note. Sorry I just wanna get right to it Ron's POV. This chapter has a reference to Ben Breedlove's near death experience. I felt like I needed to make some sort of reference to him. RIP Ben!**

RON'S POV:

I was numb. I walked, not ran, but walked to Hermione's room. I was accepting the fact that she was gone. That I would not see my wife, but a shell of the most wonderful person I'd ever known. My mum explained what had happened in great detail. The light, the peacefulness Hermione was feeling…. Her heart stopping.

Lavender ran right into me and tried to speak to me, but I walked right past her. I refused to talk to anyone until I saw Hermione. Lavender grabbed my arm, begging me to stop, but I ripped it out of her grasp. She followed me, much to my annoyance. I was about to turn around and slap her across the face when she spoke.

"Ron, we need to pray." She told me in a whisper. The entire hallway was filled with nurses with bowed heads. I looked behind me to see Harry, Ginny, Mum, Dad and Fred doing the same. Pray? I had never prayed in my life. It was no use. Hermione was gone forever. How would this help bring her back? "She's breathing." My head shot up. "It was a massive heart attack. The worst I've seen. She came back but her heart keeps stopping. That's why we need to pray." I walked slowly to the room where my wife lay still, her eyes still watching the ceiling with childlike curiosity. My heart shattered into a million different pieces. The healers around me were silent as I crept over to my seat by her bed. I took her cold hand in mine. The tears fell freely now.

"Hermione?" She didn't answer me. "Hermione, please come back to us." She lay motionless staring at the ceiling. "Hermione you have to wake up. Please! I'm begging you!" I brushed my hand over my face. "I love you so much, please come back to me." No answer. "Please. I believe in you." I waited a few moments for her to give me a sign that she was alive. But none came.

I got up from my chair and started to walk out of the room when the entire room gasped. I turned around, my heart filled with overwhelming happiness. Hermione's heart started again.

I didn't get any time to talk to her before the healers wheeled her out of the room. Oh no. I began to follow them, but was stopped by Lavender. I watched as my wife disappeared beyond the giant white double doors.

I turned to Lavender, fuming with anger. "WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER?"

"Ron, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! SHE JUST CAME BACK! SHE JUST STARTED BREATHING AGAIN AND THEY IMMEDIATELY TOOK HER AWAY! Please tell me she's not in surgery again." She looked at me with an apologetic look. That was all the answer I needed. I rested my hands on the top of my head, tears streaming down my face.

"Ron, they need to put a pacemaker in her body to prevent another heart attack."

"And you expect her not to die again in surgery? You had to give her some time to really come back! She's probably dying right now!" I felt like I was going to be sick. I literally was going to throw up. I ran past Harry and into the men's room where I began to dry heave consistently. This was too much. I couldn't handle it. You can only handle watching your wife die so many times before you lose it.

I looked at my watch. 12:19. Nineteen minutes after my mother walked in to see Hermione. Eighteen minutes after I left Hermione to go eat. I almost lost my wife over a fucking sandwich. I almost lost the most precious thing in my life, the one thing that keeps me living, the one thing that makes every day worth living…. over a turkey sandwich with some chips on the side. I felt absolutely disgusted with myself. I will never forgive myself for leaving her. Leaving her in a time when she needed me most. Leaving her when her life hung by a thread. Leaving her for a piece of shit sandwich and stale chips.

I looked at my watch. 2:04. There was no way I was in the loo for two hours. I walked out of the loo to see the hospital running like normal again. No nurses were in the hallway praying, nobody had a solemn look on their faces, everything was back to normal. My heart thudding against my ribs, I walked to Hermione's room. My heart gave a giant sigh of relief when I saw her awake. There was only one problem. She was crying. My face written with concern, I opened the door quietly.

"Hi sweetheart." I whispered to her quietly. She looked up at me with red, puffy eyes. I walked to my normal place beside her bed and took her hand. "What's the matter, sweet girl?" She shook her head and turned it away from me. "Hey- honey, look at me."

She took a breath, her head still turned away from me. "Ron, have you ever felt rejected?" I was taken aback by her words. What did she mean by that? She didn't give me time to answer. "I've felt that so many times in my life. I've actually had that feeling more times than I've felt like I was wanted."

"Hermione- sweetheart, we all love you so much. Nothing will ever change that." I stroked her warm cheek with my hand. She shook her head.

"I know that." She paused for a moment and let a tiny sob escape her pink, cracked lips. "When I saw that light…I can't even describe the warmth it gave me. I felt so peaceful. Like I'd never feel pain or sadness again. I felt like… I don't know, I guess you just need to see it yourself to understand." She sniffled loudly and sighed deeply before continuing. "I was so happy. I felt myself sort of… become submersed in it. Everything was white. I didn't feel any pain for the first time in weeks. I've never felt better in my life." She paused and took a deep breath. I squeezed her hand gently, encouraging her to continue. "I looked around and saw my brother. He was dressed in this really nice white tuxedo and he was just smiling at me. He didn't say anything to me, he just pointed at this mirror across from him. I walked over to the mirror and looked in it." She paused and smiled through her tears. "I- I've never looked more beautiful. I looked in that mirror and I…. I was proud of myself. I've never been happy with myself when I looked at my reflection, but when I looked in that mirror, I-" She cut herself off to wipe her tears. I swallowed. I didn't know what to say to her.

"You what?" I squeezed her frail hand, urging her to continue.

"I felt like… like I was important. Like I was loved. It wasn't like the feeling I get when you tell me how much you love me, it was a completely different kind of feeling." She paused and looked at me as if asking for permission to continue. I nodded and squeezed her hand lightly. She took a deep breath. "Suddenly the mirror disappeared, and Zack told me it was time for me to leave." Hermione started to sob deeply. I stroked her cheek lovingly as she continued. "I f-felt myself f-falling again. I c-could h-hear you crying and I felt like I was b-being squeezed into a tight space. That's when my h-heart started beating again." My heart broke at how upset she was. She was absolutely miserable. Her heart was broken in more ways than one. I was about to say something when she spoke again. "You don't know what it feels like. The crushing disappointment I felt. To go to a place where pain didn't exist, a place where I actually felt happy with myself, a place filled with peace and complete happiness, and then to come back to a cold world of pain and sadness. A world I'm not wanted in. You don't know what that feels like."

I was shocked by her words. What did she mean by 'a world I'm not wanted in?'

"Hermione, what do you mean a world you're not wanted in?" She shook her head at my question.

"Are you kidding me?" She gestured to her head, chest and leg. I understood what she meant. She felt like she wasn't wanted for being a muggle born. She had been shot for being a muggle born. It sickened me that this drove her to think that she lived in a world that didn't want her. That she was supposed to die because that's what the laws said.

I licked my lips and prepared to ask her the question that had been lingering on my mind since she started talking. "Hermione, are you happy you came back?"

She sniffled and slowly shook her head.


	12. To Let Go

The Hardest Decision

**The last chapter was so sad. I actually cried when I wrote it . This one's going to be worse . In this chapter, Ron has to make the toughest decision he's ever had to make. Ron's POV.**

RON'S POV:

She sniffled and slowly shook her head.

With that one moment, my entire world shattered before me. The life I've always known came to a crushing end with that one slow movement. Tears filled my eyes as I watched her shake her head. My heart stopped in that small space of time.

Hermione looked at me, tears pouring out of her eyes. She looked at me with a face that read absolute misery. She was in so much pain. She wanted to die.

She finally broke the silence her voice shaking with tears yet to be shed. "Ron, I'm so sorry." As if my heart could break any more than it already had, it did. I've never had this feeling in my life. I've never had this big of a lump in my throat. I felt as if I was choking on it. The remaining pieces of my broken heart shattered as she continued to speak.

"I let you down." She stopped crying all together. "I failed you."

I shook my head rapidly and grabbed both of her hands in mine. My voice choked with a silent sob, I spoke to her. "Listen to me." She stared into my tear filled eyes with a look that read complete sorrow. "I could never be more proud of you. You could never let me down. You didn't fail me, sweetheart."

"I just can't do it anymore. I can't live with this much pain anymore, not when I've felt that kind of peace." She said quietly, trying to hide the pain in her voice. It was as if someone had shoved a sword right through my chest.

Painful realization washed over me. I knew what I had to do. "I'm so sorry, Hermione." I broke down right there. She looked at me with the most heart wrenching expression I've ever seen. "I should have realized what I was doing to you. It wasn't the bullets that was causing you this much pain." She looked at me, confusion swimming in her tear filled eyes. "It was me." She shook her head furiously.

She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off. "I kept you here in this miserable world by not letting you go." She was silently crying as I continued to speak. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I caused you the worst pain by not letting you go."

She looked at me with tear filled eyes that told me that everything I had just said was true, though her words did not. "Ron, no. It's not your fault." Her tone gave her away. We both knew in that moment what I had to do.

I gave a deep, quivering sigh. "Hermione, are you afraid to die?"

"I was, but now I'm not. You shouldn't be either."

My heart stopped as the words I dreaded to say came out.

"Hermione, do you want to die?" She let out a harsh sob. And nodded her head. My entire existence felt like it had just exploded with that one nod. I didn't want to do this. But it would be so selfish to keep her here with all of this pain. I could take all of her pain away with only a few words.

I had to let Hermione go.

"Ron, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, taking both of her hands in mine. When I opened them she stared at me, hopelessness written across her features.

"There's nothing to apologize for, sweetheart." I took a deep, shaky breath and closed my eyes. This was too painful, but it had to be done.

I took another deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do.

"Hermione, it's okay. You don't have to fight anymore." Her eyes filled with tears as I spoke. I felt like I was going to be sick. "You have been so brave and so strong." Tears poured from both of our eyes like broken faucets. "You are, and always will be my hero." I kissed her temple ever so gently. "I love you so much. Never forget that."

She swallowed roughly. "I love you too."

"You can let go, sweetheart. It's okay." I ended my statement with a soft kiss on her beautiful pink lips. The last kiss I would ever share with anyone.

I began to pull away from her. She smiled a watery smile at me and spoke in a voice so quiet, I barely heard her.

"Never forget me… please."

With that, the loud _beeeep_ that was all too familiar filled the air around us. The healers ran in and began trying to bring her back. I knew it was no use. With difficulty, I rose from the chair that had become my home. I walked to the doorway and looked at the person who changed my life forever. I swallowed roughly as I struggled to whisper the word that was lingering on my tongue.

"Never."

**Oh my God, I'm a wreck right now. That was so hard to write. Thank you guys so much for enjoying it, and reviewing! **


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